The Elusive Definition of Love: More Than Just a Feeling

Love. It's a word we use constantly, a concept we all think we understand. But what is love, really? Is it a neurological phenomenon, a social construct, or something more profound? Defining love is a challenge, perhaps because we're often trying to do so while immersed in the experience itself.

The Problem with Comparisons

We often define love by comparing it to other things. We say, "Love conquers all," or "Love is all you need." But these are just comparisons, ways of ranking its importance. Is love more important than shelter? Than sanity? Ranking doesn't define; it merely prioritizes.

The Bias of Experience

Trying to define love while falling in or out of it is like asking a lottery winner to define currency or asking someone being attacked by bears to define bears. Our current emotional state can cloud our judgment and make it difficult to see love objectively.

What Love Isn't:

• Just a Feeling: Feelings are fluid and change over time. Love involves feelings, but it's more than just a fleeting emotion.
• Just Actions: Holding hands, kissing, and marriage are behaviors associated with love, but these are subjective and culturally relative. Love can exist without these actions.
• Just a Neurological Phenomenon: While brain chemistry plays a role, reducing love to a series of neural pathways ignores the emotional and experiential aspects.

The Addictive Nature of Love

Love can be addictive. Chemicals in your brain, stimulated by another person, can create a craving for that person. They satisfy a physiological need, and you want more. But sometimes, this addiction fades. You fall out of love. Why? Do we develop a tolerance, or do we simply reach a limit?

Love and Evolution

From an evolutionary perspective, love could be seen as a mechanism for species survival. It drives us to mate, raise children, and continue our DNA. Nature selects us to have crushes, just as it does with other animals. But is that all there is to it?

Love as a Construct

Perhaps love is a construct, a concept we've created and try to live up to. But it's a construct built from reality: our experiences, feelings, brain chemistry, and cultural expectations. It's a multifaceted concept that can be viewed through scientific, emotional, historical, spiritual, legal, and personal lenses.

The Ongoing Construction of Love

If no two people are the same, no two people's love is the same either. Love is always up for discussion and constantly under construction. The fact that we can't definitively define it is a good thing. It means we're all still making it, shaping it, and experiencing it in our own unique ways.

In every loving relationship, there's a lot to talk about, and partners should be open to that, or the relationship probably won't last.

Key Takeaways:

• Love is complex and multifaceted.
• There is no single, universally accepted definition of love.
• Love is influenced by our biology, psychology, and culture.
• Love is a dynamic and evolving process.

Ultimately, the definition of love is personal and subjective. It's up to each individual to define what it means to them.